Too Soon For Hulk Smash?

It's been five years since the release of Ang Lee's film version of everyone favorite comic book green guy, The Incredible Hulk and I'm inclined to say, "Ang, Ang, he's our man...if he can't do it, no one can." Well guess what, the Oscar winning director couldn't make a viable film out of the Hulk character, so if such an able director isn't able to make movie magic...can anyone?" Enter Louis Leterrier, whose previous notable directorial efforts include The Transporter and The Transporter 2, to try and fix or even create a franchise for the muscular grass toned comic book hero with sad walking away music. I'm of the school that says this is not possible. The Hulk just doesn't seem like a deep enough character. Sure having Ed Norton playing the title role does not hurt but seeing a big CGI green guy yelling "HULK SMASH!" just hasn't made my list of things to do in five years and I'm not inclined to do so again. The problem lies in the depth of the actual super-hero. I never really thought there was anything special about a superhero that gets really big and green and needs anger management classes. Though I was a fan of the TV show, it was more for the mere ridiculousness of seeing Lou Ferrigno in a bad
paint job and cut-off shorts...and of course the walking away music. So there are two questions that remain in regards to this weekend's release of the latest Incredible Hulk installment; first, can they pull it off? Secondly, will anyone care? Perhaps the 2nd question is the most important. After all if a tree falls in the woods and the Incredible Hulk debuts in theaters and no one is there to see it, does it actually matter? All negativity aside, I think The Incredible Hulk will get a sizable audience this weekend. There are enough superhero fanatics to give this franchise a second chance. The question remains will they walk into the theater with that glint in their eye saying, "don't make me waste $12 on this movie...you wouldn't like me when I waste $12 on a movie". By the second or third act most movie theaters in the country could be in ruins.

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Panda Express

Greetings film fanatics, while the heat may have wreaked havoc on our sweat glands and electric bills...the film industry was busy flourishing for yet another fruitful weekend at the summerbox office. Kung Fu Pandaand Jack Black vehicle which scored big with a $60.2 million take this weekend, we're slightly surprised by Adam Sandler's continued drawing power. Though in all honesty I shouldn't be so quick to judge since I haven't seen his latest film. Either way, for the 4th straight week, we've got a brand new #1. Indiana Jones managed to hold strong at the #3 spot coming in just above Sex and The City which still raked in a respectable $21.8 million for the two day span, though it seems likely that the latter will continue to fade fast since mostly everyone who's in that target audience has already had their dose of lady-centric cinema. The Strangers held on at the #5 position fulfilling the needs of those jonesing to be very afraid in a comfortably air-conditioned movie theater. Maybe we should take a cue from all of those film fans and get in line ourselves.

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A Wolf In Panda's Clothing

Happy new release day film fans. It's finally safe to re-enter the multiplex without fear of being hit on by a group of cosmopolitan lubricated spinsters. Maybe not completely safe, but at least the buzz has died down after Sex and The City's opening weekend and not a moment too soon. Things heat up this weekend if not necessarily on the big screen then certainly with the weather. With temperatures supposed hit the 90's in the Northeast there's never been a better time to seek the air conditioned comfort of a movie theater. While we fully expect blockbusters like Sex and The City and Indiana Jones to keep blockbustering along albeit at a slightly less
torrid pace, we could possibly see a new #1.

Kung Fu Panda kicks it's way into screens this weekend featuring the voices of such heavy hitters as Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, and Jackie Chan. It's sure to be a favorite for parents looking to stop their kids from whining "It's too hot outside". You can never
underestimate the appeal of an animated flick's draw at the box office though, unless that movie is called Bee Movie. Garnering mostly favorable reviews so far, we suspect this dose of kid cinema has the potential to reign supreme at the box office, giving paramount
yet another monster summer hit. It probably won't inspire tons of kids rushing off to film school to take animation classes, but it'll nonetheless prove enjoyable.

Also using some sort of martial art or marketing blitz to force it's way into theaters this weekend is the latest effort from Adam Sandler, You Don't Mess With The Zohan. Judging from the previews, this film looks entirely stupid. However, that's precisely what we like about previous Sandler"classics" like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. Though, I think as time has worn on Sandler's stupid as funny act has begun to wear a little thin. Luckily, he's got a few cast members like John Turturro and Nick Swardson, not to mention the involvement of Judd Apatow, that might just swoop in to save the proceedings...maybe. This looks like a rental or "wait for cable" option. Other limited release options for the weekend, provided you live in a major city are Mongol, Sergei Bodrov's tale of the rise of Genghis Khan and The Promotion a comedy with heart and a very positive buzz starring Sean William Scott and John C. Reilly. Frankly, those seem a little more appealing than all of the other
stuff. Maybe we'll see one of those this weekend instead of standing outside and sweating profusely.

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Lackluster Blockbuster

Film fans, I am completely dumbfounded. It seems my powers of prediction should be held under suspicion after last week's post in which we had the audacity to proclaim that Sex and The City's opening weekend would trump that of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls, turning it into perhaps the biggest blockbuster of the summer. However, when the numbers came out on Sunday night my jaw was agape in disbelief. Frankly, I think someone got their math a little wrong. Every single female I know and even some men went to to see Sex and The City this weekend. I even know people who saw it twice. Some of them didn't even like the show and were just seeing it to be ironic. The numbers just don't add up. While $56.8 million is a whole lot of loot and certainly a respectable first weekend take I believe it to be a mathematic impossibility. Something foul is afoot and I demand a recount. Now you might be asking yourself what this would prove? Well, the answer is, absolutely nothing...but maybe just maybe Paramount rigged the numbers so nobody would beat their two most successful summer releases in Indy and Iron Man...or not. I would just like someone to check again because with all of the buzz that surrounded this movie you would've thought it was the only movie out in theaters. I find the numbers to be completely implausible and it hast landed me in a state of utter moviegoing shock. Somehow I would not have been surprised if it earned $500 million, but $56.8 million.

While Sex and the City was busy being a both a monetary and critical disappointment, a couple of other notable films picked up the slack. Indy pulled up in 2nd place with $44.8 million and the new horror thriller, The Strangers earned an impressive $21 million, knocking Iron Man all the way down to 4th place taking it to it's lowest rung on the box office ladder since it's release. Ok film fans, it's safe to go back to the multiplex...and even some of the art house theaters. There'll be less drunk people smuggling in Cosmopolitans this week.

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The Female Star Wars

This weekend most movie theaters will resemble a vortex of femininity thanks to the release of HBO's long awaited Sex and The City film. Nevermind the fact that some studio should have had the foresight to release a movie called Violent Explosions and Hot Babes aimed exclusively at the male population or maybe just re-released Rambo and Rocky Balboa, it's far too late for that now and we're in the throes of what just may be the biggest opening weekend all summer. I haven't seen female film fans this excited since Titanic won all of those Oscars. By all accounts this film is all set to be the female version of the release of all of those Star Wars prequels, the girls' chance to geek out as their favorite characters hit the big screen in what looks to be an absolutely atrocious film. I haven't been less enthused to see a movie since I saw the preview for The Good Son starring Macauley Culkin. Frankly, after seeing the trailer, I wouldn't go see this film if I was promised sex afterwards. Then again, most women probably would've said the same thing with the male obsession with both Indiana Jones and Iron Man the last few months...so I guess we're even.

So how much will the film about those four girls whose names I don't want to admit that I know gross at the box office on opening weekend? $100 Million? $300 Million? $1 Billion? Okay, maybe those last two estimates are optimistic, but this is a weekend that truly tests the drawing power of films aimed specifically at women. If Sex and The City does as well as it should, we might see a Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy movie on the horizon. Perhaps, Drew Barrymore will get the girls back together for Charlie's Angels 3: More Throttle. Regardless of what might come after, I'm going to stick with a $160 million estimate for the biggest movie event since...well last week.

You wouldn't actually know it, but other movies are coming out this weekend. The only one in wide release is The Strangers, which judging from the preview actually looks pretty creepy. However, it is a horror, suspense film and most trailers for horror films are supposed to look like that. Otherwise someone's not doing their job. Either way, I don't see this film grabbing anything higher than 5th place. There's too much out there in the way of blockbusters and Ashton Kutcher films for this one to make a dent...unless for some reason someone who can't get tickets to Sex and The City decides they want to see a horror film instead. Though really, what are the odds of that happening.

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Indy Takes Home More Gold For Paramount

Film fans have spoken this Memorial day weekend, and to no one's
surprise, they said they missed Indy. After 19 years out of the
spotlight, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas's adventure serial came
back with a bang grossing $151 million since hitting theaters last
week. No matter how confusing and uninteresting the plot was, this
just goes to show you people how much people like to see elderly men
wearing fedoras and throwing their back out in the in the middle of a
rainforest. Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls blew
away the competition with The Chronicles of Narnia earning almost $100
million less than the box office champion did this weekend.
Meanwhile, Iron Man was not too far behind Prince Caspian continuing
to exceed expectations by raking in a respectable $25.6 million. By
all accounts Paramount has already had quite the successful summer
season and that's got to be a good thing because their other slated
summer release, Mike Myers The Love Guru, looks positively horrendous.
If that one bombs they should have already made enough money to cover
their losses. Though something tells me that Guru will at least break
even if not end up another smash hit for the man behind the Wayne's
World, Austin Powers, and Shrek franchises.

In sadder news, we here at the Film School Film blog are mourning the passing
of the exceptionally talented writer/director and actor Sydney
Pollack, who passed away at age 73 this weekend. Pollack, perhaps
known for his directorial triumphs, was thrice nominated in the Best
DIrector category for "They Shoot Horses, Don't They (1970), Tootsie
(1982), and Out of Africa (1985), the latter of which garnered him the
academy award. He also made many memorable on screen appearances. He
co-starred opposite Tom Cruise in Kubrick's last film Eyes Wide Shut
and can currently be seen in Made of Honor. While his work will
always be with us, his presence will be truly missed.

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Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

The buzz around the film school last week was the long anticipated addition to the Indiana Jones series, and as I entered the Ziegfeld theater on opening night of Indiana Jones
and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls I was constructing my own
"Horror-bility Scale" whereby I would rank the film on a scale from
one to ten, one being Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (mediocre
but enjoyable), Ten Being the Star Wars Prequels (mind blowingly
horrendous). Having been conned into George Lucas' three Star Wars
prequels my cynical expectation for IJATKOTCS was to come in at an
even nine on my previously laid out scale, even though I hoped for it
to exceed expectations and surprise me with about a four and a half.

The curtains opened up and this reviewer felt a chill of excitement.
The screen was revealed opened with a gopher emerging from a whole and
a 50's Era teen-drag race type scene...I was a tad bit unsure that I
was in the correct theater. Despite my original misgivings the film
opened with promise. The first fifteen to twenty minutes were a dose
of Jonesian delight. Although Indy himself looked a little long in
the tooth the action that ensued complete with relics, evildoers, and
some cranium kicking from a creaky old man set the film off on a
relatively rollicking pace. It was more or less all downhill from
there. The more characters that became involved in the action, the
more the plot resembled that of the film Goonies. A bunch of friends
were hunting for buried treasure as the bad guys were hot on their
tail. The whole film seemed like a scavenger hunt of sorts. The
strength behind the films like Raiders of The Lost Ark and The Last
Crusade was that the archaeological relics being sought out had
somewhat of a known historical basis and a connection was built to the
importance of that which was sought. In The Last Crusade for example,
the Holy Grail was more than just Jesus' cup, it was a bridge between
Indiana and his father. The Crystal Skull in this film seemed so
foreign that not even the characters knew why they were looking for
it. All everyone knew is that it had some psychic power and that Cate
Blanchett wanted it and it drove another guy crazy that Indy used to
be friends with. Often times it seemed like the only reason anyone
wanted to find the Crystal Skull is because they finally had the
directions to get there. The other angle played up in the film was,
of course, the reunion of Indy and Marion Ravenwood. As nice as it
was to see Karen Allen back on screen again and the two arguing just
like old times...it was really unneeded. Another strong point of the
other two sequels was that they never stopped to consider the film or
films that preceeded them. This film feels like it dwells on a
relationship built up 27 years ago...but that relationship doesn't
necessarily weigh on anything that occurs throughout the film, but
nonetheless provides a few one liners.

The rest of the supporting cast felt a bit wasted. While Cate
Blanchett is always a pleasure to watch, she never angered me with her
evilness...and it seemed like no thought went into writing John Hurt's
character. Ray Winstone played the token worthless fat guy and Shia
LeBeouf wasn't unenjoyable and lord knows he certainly injected some
youth into the proceedings as Indy's travel partner and initiator of
the plot thickening trip to Peru. I'd say more but I don't do
spoilers. Lebeouf participated in plenty of action sequences that
might cause me to give up my suspension of disbelief altogether.

As harsh this review has been, I'm not sure the film deserves a ten on
my haphazardly formulated horror-bility scale. I'll give it a seven
and a half and a hearty "DAMN YOU SPIELBERG AND LUCAS!" for ruining
such a good thing by making part IV. I've already put the $12 I'm not
spending on Indiana Jones V: Mutt Williams and The Sasquatch Trail of
The Pacific Northwest, into a savings account so I can hopefully make
my money back by the time that comes out.

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